The Girl Who Became a Flower – Whole Story

Here is the whole story: “The Girl Who Became a Flower!”
Part I – The Girl Goes into the Woods
Part II – Meeting Ms. Peony
Part III – The Tulips and Viola Twins

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Thank you for reading this three-part story!
Story by Senia.
Images by IconBazaar.

The Girl Who Became a Flower (Part III)

The first part of this short story is here and the second part is here.
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“…Worried?” asked the peony. “Well, your mother and father shouldn’t be worried.”

“I wish I could get out of here,” said the sad little girl-flower.
And, SHOO, straight with those words, she was picked up by a wave of wind and dropped into another spot on the ground. What? Where? How had the wind moved her completely? She tried to bend the bright orange part of her flower toward the ground, as if touching her toes – if she had had toes. She could bend towards the ground, and she saw that she was standing in a new spot.
Continue reading “The Girl Who Became a Flower (Part III)”

How Do You Become an Expert?

Hi guys, happy Friday!
Clarification: not “how would you become an expert?” but “how DO YOU become an expert?”

How have you become an expert on any topic?
What did you do? What was the most effective part of what you did?

Here are my items in which I’ve become an expert (I guess answering this question kind of makes you brag):
* How to run a start-up company
* How to do accounting for a company
* How to rock climb
* How to ballroom dance

“Expert” is a person’s own definition, but when you’re commenting here, please just brag! :) Don’t hold back. Let it all out. I’m a fan of bragging among friends! One of the ways that I define expert is that I could teach an intro class in any of those above topics, and that’s my personal indication of expertise.

How do I become an expert?
* Practice something diligently – e.g.: rockclimbing 3x per week
* Do it a long time, for many years – e.g.: running a company and accounting
* Take classes! – I love taking classes and learning from experts – rock climbing, dance, going to hear CEO’s speak
* Form my own opinions on the topic, OWN the topic – be able to teach rockclimbing, implement company decisions, take a position on the correct way to do something in business.
* Read or watch videos or go live to see more of the topic.

Welcome to Friday questions! Look forward to reading your answers. :)

Courage

“Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.”
~ Marie Curie (She was the first woman to receive a Nobel Prize, and she recevied TWO of them in her life! There is a book by a Harvard classmate of mine, Sarah Dry, about Marie Curie.)

Courage is very important. Like a muscle, it is strengthened by use.
~ Ruth Gordon

“Failure seldom stops you. What stops you is the fear of failure.”
~ Jack Lemmon

“Do not fear mistakes, there are none.”
~ Miles Davis

The Girl Who Became a Flower (Part II)

The first part of this short story is here.
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She heard the wolf’s steps thump-thumping away and again, she thought to herself, “What do I do now?”

Her heart was still running fast inside her, and she felt that she was breathing quickly. But the wind outside her was quite powerful, and calmed her. Soon, she breathed more calmly. The little zinnia girl-flower realized that as a flower, the wind seems very, very strong, and it could blow her side to side.

She wanted to see herself. How could she be a flower? What kind of flower? All she saw were the outsides of her petals, bright orange.

zinnia

She looked straight up at the tree branches and the light blue sky beyond the branches. She looked at the trees all around her – there was a squirrel running around the trunk of one tree. She looked at the roots of the trees in the earth, and sawa a frog in the moss at the bottom of one of the trees. And she saw the outside of her bright orange petals. The wind was very loud and strong on a thin flower. She asked aloud, rather matter-of factly, “Who am I?”

“You-ou-ou are a bright beautiful zinnia, my dear,” answered a very soft voice. The little girl-flower thought she was dreaming.
“A zinniomadeer?”
“Oh no, ha ha ha, no, no, no, my dear. You are a zinnia,” answered the voice, and the word zinnia floated on the strong word.
“I am a zinnia?”
“Yes, you are,” the voice laughed comfortably and softly. “You are.”
“Do I like being a zinnia?”
“You tell me,” answered the soft voice.
“And who are you?”

peony “Smell me,” said the soft voice.
And the girl-flower reached her neck up to the sky and smelled, smelled, smelled, “You are the flower that my mother has in the late spring near the house!”
“Who am I?” the soft voice asked.
“You are a Penelope?”
“Close,” and the soft voice laughed, “I am a peony.”
“A peony. Where are you?” asked the zinnia girl-flower.
“Look behind you,” answered the voice.
And the girl flower started to shake, but she could not turn around, “But how can I look behind me?”
“You must bend your stem as if you were bending your little girl knees, and then turn around.”

And the zinnia-girl flower did, and she saw the most welcoming, the softest, the most comforting peony she had ever seen.
“Ohhhhh,” said the little girl, “You are like home.”

“Maybe,” said the peony humbly. “Many of the flowers know me and ask me about how they should reach for the sunshine and how they should position their roots for the water. Maybe I am like home around here.” She suddenly appeared a little bit shy.

“What should I do, Ms. Peony?” asked the girl-flower.
“What do you mean?”
“How can I go home to my mother and father?”
“Oh, that I don’t know about,” said the peony, “You are a flower.”
“But when it gets dark, my mother will worry, and I will want to sleep in my bed.”
“Ohhh, we have never had that happen before,” said the peony.
“What if you don’t get home by the time it gets dark?”
“Then my mother and father will worry, and they might cry, and they’ll come outside to look for me.”

(to be continued here in the third part…)

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Story by Senia.
Images by IconBazaar.

Write Like a Map!

Write as if you, yourself, are a map. Interweave how you come to discover conclusions with the conclusions themselves. I’m reading a book that does this wonderfully.

People remember best in maps. This was the first and most important point of long-time coach David Rock when he spoke at the International Positive Psycholgy Conference last year. We remember best if we can touch it or walk it.

THE TV CARTOONS AND NO HAND GESTURES STUDY
A lot of childhood learning is based on associating learning with body kinesthetics: sing a nursery rhyme and bounce the child up and down, and suddenly, the child learns the rhyme easily. There was a study done with children where researchers asked children to sit in front of a tv and watch a cartoon, and afterwards, the researchers asked the children to explain what happened in the cartoon. The children used their hands to demonstrate while they talked and talked and described the whole story. Then in the test group in same study, the researchers sat children down in front of a tv, and tied their hands to the sofa chair while they watched the cartoon. Afterwards, they asked the children to describe the cartoon (while still not being able to use their hands to gesture since the hands were tied down), and they found the children remembered very, very little of the content of the cartoon. Using the physical space, such as gesturing with hands – and even imagining using the physical space – allows us to remember better.

THE MAP MEMORY TRICK
This is a trick that my friend (whom I sometimes call “the memory guy” because he competes in memory competitions) told me once. He uses this to remember long strings of words. Here, I’ll show you how this works. But first, let’s see how fast you can memorize something anyway.
1) Memorize this list in order fast (actually, get a watch with a second hand, or open up the Date and Time Properties on your computer. ) Keep looking at this list until you can repeat it, in order, without looking. Stop when you can repeat the list having turned your back to the computer and with your eyes closed. Highlight the following line with your cursor:
List (in order): lemon, teddy bear, watermelon, camel, rubik’s cube, rubber duck, baby pacifier, golf club

2) Now, let’s try it the mapping way. First, think of an apartment or house that you know well. Now, think of two specific rooms in the apartment. Now think of the four corners of the two rooms. When I show you the list, imagine walking into one room, looking at it and scanning clockwise each of the four corners, then going into the next room and scanning each of the four corners clockwise. Now, the way you’ll memorize this second list is in your head put one object each into each corner, so when you go to scan, you see that object there along with the other items that really exist in that corner. So, for example, if the first word were dinosaur, then you’d put a dinosaur in the first corner of the first room, setting the dinosaur in your head on top of your real bookshelf in that corner, and seeing him surrounded by those books. And keep setting objects around the corners of room. After the first room, you immediately go into the second room…
Ok, ready? Get ready to time it. Again, you can stop when you can repeat the list in order turned away from the computer and with your eyes closed. Here is the second list:
List (in order): water slide, yoyo, ice cream, white tshirt, strawberry, basketball, scissors, lollipop

Ok, which one did you do faster?
I would bet it’s the second one. Why? Because you used a map. You used the map of the two rooms. And you used your visual and memory processes together to remember the list in order. Associating learning with body kinesthethics.

Another map memory trick is to see in your head the route you take from your home to the grocery store (or any other frequent destination). Then, if you want to memorize a list of items, place those items along the road in your path to the grocery store: at turns and at stop signs. For example, you might place a huge oversized avocado at the corner gas station before you turn left, and three full red tomatoes perched on the following stoplight before you turn right, and so on.

HOW NEUROSCIENTIST GOLDBERG DOES IT
I’m reading The Executive Brain by Elkhonon Goldberg. He’s a clinical neuropsychologist and cognitive neuroscientist. The last paragraph of his introduction is so simple and clear: it tells how he will be describing how he came to some conclusions at the same time as describing those conclusions. So, in essence, he gives us a map for following and understanding when and how he reaches his conclusions in neuroscience. And that map is the timeline of his life.

Goldberg says, “I believe that ideas are best understood when considered in the context in which they arise. Therefore, interwoven with the discussion of various topics of cognitive neuroscience are personal vignettes about my teachers, about my friends, about myself, and about the times in which we live.”

Enjoy mapping things out, and playing map-memory games with yourself whenever you have a four-item or eight-item grocery store list (you know, you could do non-multiples of four as well: just don’t fill every corner of each room). :)

And play with writing about ideas in the manner in which they had come to you – unpacking the way in which you figured something out – that story of how you figured it out is sometimes the driver of what it was that you figured out.

Take-away: Write as if you are a map, and as if you’re describing yourself.

The Girl Who Became a Flower

There was a girl who went out picking flowers and raspberries and blueberries all day long. She carried a small metal pail. She was eight years old, old enough to know better and young enough to be a little girl about everything.

One day, as she grabbed her metal pail, her mother said to her, “Have fun!” And the girl smiled and waved. She skipped down the long gritty pebbled path in front of her house, and started walking slowly as she got to the woods. She made a whisper sound to herself, putting her finger over her lips, “Shhh.” She always told herself to quiet down as she was entering the woods. There were so many secrets in the woods that you could only see and hear if you yourself were not seen and not heard!

There was the thistle and the moss. There were the puddles and the ladybugs.

The little girl walked slowly and sometimes just stood waiting for nature to move all around her.

Sometimes she saw rabbits hopping. Many times, she saw chipmunks and squirrels. In the spring, she had seens a whole duck family by the river. Her mother told her that other people had seen bears and wolves in the woods. The little girl had once seen a pretty, pretty fox.

thistle

Most days, after she watched and looked, the girl always went to her main raspberry bushes and ate enough berries to have red, red lips, and after that, she usually got tired, and went to lie down in the sun.

This day, after she had stood still and had looked around, she went to her main raspberry bush and ate the raspberries. She was walking to the sunny clearing when she saw a beautiful flower. She stopped completely. Then she took a step closer. It was a soft-petaled flower. And the petals changed from an inner pink to an outer white layer. She stood and looked and looked at it.

“Hello,” said the flower.
“What?!” said the girl, taking a few steps back, looking around her in the woods.
“Hello,” said the flower again.

camellia “Is that you, beautiful flower?” asked the girl bending down.
“Yes, I am a camellia.”
“You are a wonderful camellia,” said the girl, “I wish I were a beautiful colorful flower like you!”
“Shh, shh,” said the pink camelia, “You don’t wish you were a flower like me! In the woods, what we wish is what happens.”

Continue reading “The Girl Who Became a Flower”

Three Components of Intuition

I’ve been thinking about how I would define intuition. And in thinking about this, I’ve been looking into the commonly-held beliefs about intuition. This post is about the components of intuition. A post later in the week will be about the definition. Enjoy!

1) Lack of rationalization.
If you look up “rational” in the dictionary, you’ll find it means having reason, and if you then look up “reason,” you’ll find that it means thinking in an orderly way. Many researchers and writers on the topic of intuition define intuition as not being orderly, as having no rationalization. Here are some excerpts from intuition definitions: “without observation or reason” (Myers), “little or no conscious deliberation” (Hogarth), and “independently of any reasoning process” (Schultz).

2) Non-sequential.
Furthermore, many researchers many intuition researchers also confirm that intuition is not sequential. As described by Hayashi (2001), economics Nobel Laureate Herbert Simon says, “All the time, we are reaching conclusions on the basis of things that go on in our perceptual system, where we’re aware of the result of the perception but we’re not aware of the steps.” Economics Nobel Laureate Daniel Kahneman describes the reasoning processes as serial, i.e. in reasoning processes, there is one process that follows another. I would add to Kahneman’s description that each such process is a series of rational processes: giving someone directions is a series of step-by-step explanations. Therefore, rational processes are step-by-step and sequential in nature whereas intuition-based processes are not. Additionally, Day (1996), an intuition practitioner and trainer, includes the terms “nonlinear, nonempirical process” in her definition of intuition.

3) Includes insight.
Dijksterhuis et al., who write many articles about unconscious thought like intuition, describe the manner in which an intuitive thought “pop[s] into consciousness” as deliberation-without-attention, i.e. that the mind is deliberating without any attention to that process, and at the end of that deliberating in the unconscious thought process, there is an insight from the unconscious to the conscious. A sudden transition to a conscious preference characterizes intuition’s shortcut qualities. Many intuition researchers use a definition of intuition that includes the concept of directness and speed inherent in shortcuts; for example, intuition definitions include the following: “direct knowledge [and] immediate insight” (Myers), “sudden appearance” (Welling), and “directly perceive” (Schultz).

Intuition is a shortcut in that it bypasses the step-by-step process, just like finding a shortcut through the woods rather than taking the trail. To view this from the literary angle, Myers describes that the poet Amy Lowell was asked, “How are poems made?” She replied, “I don’t know … I meet them where they touch consciousness and that is already a considerable distance along the road of evolution.”

There can be a sense of revelation when the conscious mind realizes something that was already obvious to the unconscious mind, writes Hayashi, in describing Henry Mintzberg, who studies intuitive decision-making. Hayashi writes about Mintzberg’s conclusions, “This helps explain the “aha” sensation you experience when you learn something that you actually already knew.” In this sense, intuition is a shortcut through the process of rationalization.

Keywords: Psychology. Intuition. Rational. Reason.
Sources:
* Day, L. (1996). Practical Intuition. New York: Broadway Books.
* Dijksterhuis, A., Bos, M., Nordgren, L. and van Baaren, R. (2006) On Making the Right Choice: The Deliberation-Without-Attention Effect. Science, 311(17), 1005-1007.
* Hayashi, A. (2001). When to Trust Your Gut. In Harvard Business Review on Decision Making (pp. 169-187). Boston: Harvard Business School Press.
* Hogarth, R. (2001). Educating Intuition. Chicago: University of Chicago Press.

* Kahneman, D. (2002) Maps of bounded rationality: A perspective on intuitive judgment and choice. Nobel Prize Lecture.
* Myers, D. (2002). Intuition: Its Power and Perils. New Haven: Yale University Press.
* Schultz, M.L. (1998). Awakening Intuition: Using Your Mind-Body Network for Insight and Healing. New York: Random House Press.
* Welling, H. (2006). The Intuitive Process: The Case of Psychotherapy. Journal of Psychotherapy Integration, 15(1), 19–47.

Why?

Why?

* Because it is the way of the world.
* Because you want to.
* Because that’s how the cycle of life goes.
* Because of you, because of me.
* Because.

* Because the little prince and charlie brown have a lot of the answers.
* Because every life is different.
* Because YOU ALREADY KNOW.
* Because nature is out there, and the wind blows through the tops of the trees.
* Because of the march of the penguins.

* Because only you know why you choose to climb the mountains you choose to climb.
* Because we seek bliss.
* Because it is an incredible feeling to be alive.


Today’s question: Why?

On Fridays, I post a question. I would love it if you feel like answering the question. :) Thanks. (I’m a big fan of privacy also, so if you don’t want to put your name in, just use an initial or just fill in the letter “A” and we’ll know it’s anonymous, and if you don’t want to put your email address for privacy reasons, just put mine – it’s at the link ‘email me’ above.)