Senia Maymin, Ph.D. – Brave Job Search
Senior Leaders: Get a new job *before* you get laid off
:) From a friend of mine who emailed this:
Hi, today’s post will be up later today or on Wednesday, I’ll post two.
Thanks,
Senia
Today’s question is suggested by Chris Harrison! This is such a fun question, and it fits with this note about interior design. I first started asking this question in college when I spoke with the parents of my friends – well, a version of the question: I used to ask, “Why do you live there?” It’s so interesting to me why people choose to live in certain places.
Also, a great thing about this question is that it’s about, “what do you want?” and “where would you live?” I often think that it’s with friends that you can dream about things, about the future, about the “if”s. Where would you live?
Q: If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
Since it’s a guest question, my answers are in the comments too. :) COOL! I love guest questions. Chris runs a blog on which he talks about work, family, his home. Check it out!
—
On Fridays, I ask questions (today, it’s rather late in the day!)… would love it if you’re in the mood to answer!
Here is a NY Times article, looking at whether coloring your rooms and your home in brighter colors can make you happier.
It describes how there is a larger interested in positive psychology, as seen in Harvard’s most popular course being on positive psychology. And it describes the forthcoming book “The Architecture of Happiness,” which talks about how buildings and environment affect our moods. The article also describes the strong new counter-point to the past view of elegance, which used to be white or beige walls.
Reading the article, it sounds like the interior decorators in this article are called in to make everything appear in their style of bright colors. It seems that the interior decorators don’t look particularly at each person, and what bright colors may work for that person, but that they look at their style, and apply it to the house. For example, that bright candystriped bedroom in the photo looks like it could belong in anyone’s home, and is not necessarily personal to that family. Caveat: I could be way wrong, and it could be that each such room is very, very personal to the people that live there.
What would seem wrong to me is having one-size-fits-all approach to bright colors. Maybe I’m reading into the article too much.
Colors are so personal. For example, I know a woman who has a yellow kitchen, and her place is WONDERFUL in yellow! It is just right for her and her family. It feels like her when you stand there: it feels energetic, young, and alive. I know a woman whose kitchen cupboards are eggplant purple – it’s wonderful (and dark as opposed to the bright colors advocated in this article), but it’s wonderful for her and her family! It feels deep and warm and homey. And that’s what make both these homes great: the personal touch, the personal liking of individual color choices and their fit to the homes.
I agree that what you look at every day matters. I agree that your environment has a big influence on you. I don’t believe that 1) other people can tell you that they know what’s best for you (yes, they can suggest, but not top-down tell you), and that 2) what is best for one person’s environment is best for another person’s environment (as long as there is significant variety in recommendations for different people).
One of the biggest points about happiness is that people have more happiness when they feel personal control. So if a decorator were to come in, and tell you that you should like bright colors (and this particular combination of bright colors) better, then that’s the opposite of personal control. Most decorators do personalize everything – just the way I read the article, I got the impression that bright colors were more important to these decorators than making the place fit the personality of the people hiring them. And that couldn’t be so; it wouldn’t make sense; they wouldn’t be in business. Since if not q then not p, then I must have been wrong that the decorators aren’t personalizing their bright color recommendations.
I recently needed help with something just about in the middle of the night, and I called a friend. This made me think of these quotes. It is beautiful.
“I do not wish to treat friendships daintily, but with the roughest courage. When they are real, they are not glass threads or frost-work, but the solidest thing we know.”
“A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him I may think aloud.”
“A Friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of Nature.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
“The best mirror is an old friend.”
~ George Herbert
“When we seek to discover the best in others, we somehow bring out the best in ourselves.”
~ William Arthur Ward
“Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with.”
~ Mark Twain
“It is more shameful to distrust one’s friends than to be deceived by them.”
~ Duc de la Rochefoucauld
“Never injure a friend, even in jest.”
~ Cicero
” ‘Stay’ is a charming word in a friend’s vocabulary.”
~ Louisa Mary Alcott
“What is a friend? A single soul in two bodies.”
~ Aristotle
Given this article Stress Can Shrink Your Brain that we talked about here, if stress may damage the brain, then how can people diminish the effects of stress on their brains?
EXERCISE! is mentioned frequently in the article as an important way to diminsh the effects of stress. Additionally, the Forbes article says, ‘ “Everything we already know about fighting off chronic disease, like getting sufficient sleep, staying active throughout life, and having a healthy diet” may stave off premature aging of the immune system….’
Also, please see this marvelous article by Marian Diamond that includes thoughts on exercise being great for the brain. Here are a few parts of the article:
The hippocampus deals with the processing of recent memory and visual spatial processing. As we age and our blood vessels become less efficient, it is very important to get the oxygen through the vascular system up to the hippocampus, as well as to the rest of the brain and body.”
So, to relieve stress, consider getting more oxygen to the brain.
Also, check out the Change or Die article that I mentioned a couple of days ago about the importance of lifestyle. This article takes the view that people should stop blaming genetics or thier environment, and in fact, should start diligently exercising and eating well.
I’m sitting on my couch reading a fiction book a friend of mine gave me when I look over at my plant and realize… it’s time to water it. I figure, well, ok, when I get up for a glass of water, or maybe just after I finish this chapter, or just later, or maybe tomorrow. After I read a little longer, I look back up – again, I remember the plant, and that it needs water right about now – today or tomorrow. So I tell myself I’ll water it for sure if not tonight then tomorrow. Then I get up to get something from the kitchen, and when I come back, I realize the plant is right there.
Finally, and only after reminding myself that “doing something can be easier than not doing!,” do I go into the kitchen, get some water and water the plant, and the one in the next room too.
When you recognize that something needs to be done, and then you put off doing it, you start to occupy the brain with an extra thought. Yes, you can write it down, and then you occupy the brain less. (You’ll only occupy the brain when you return to the list and see “water the plant” on it and then schedule that activity into your day.) But think about it! How long does it take to water the plant? How long does it take to write down “water the plant” and then schedule the time when you’ll do it? EXACTLY!!! :)
This is one of David Allen‘s biggest points: you want to get organized so that your brain has more free time! Less stress on the brain, less minute things to remember and to juggle.
This is like Dave Seah says in describing his father visiting him: “If you clean up after yourself constantly, you will have a clean house! When he walks around the house, he automatically sees things that need to be arranged better or cleaned.”
Maybe it’s starting to sound pretty appealing to just do something at the moment you think of doing it? Maybe it’s starting to sound like an easier way to live? …But what if you start an action (like going through your mail for example) and it turns into too big a project, and then you get behind on your other obligations? That’s a valid concern. David Allen suggests that if something is going to take two minutes – that’s right, two minutes – then do it now. If more, then write it down and plan it.
And the biggest reason to do things rather than putting them off? You can reduce stress on yourself. Trying to remember is occupying your brain. Trying to remember too much may be stressing your brain. In the latest Forbes issue is the article Stress Can Shrink Your Brain. There’s been research on rats that stress physically shrinks parts of the brain. So give your brain a break – don’t burden it with unnecessary stress! Do something rather than remember another ‘todo’ item.
“But, Mama, what if I need to get away from a bad person? How can I hide? I’m so big,” asked the Giant in a hesitant tone. He was very sad. The Giant was scared that he wouldn’t be able to hide if he needed to.
“Well,” answered Mama Giant, “there are three solutions,” and at this the Giant moved his ears closer. “You can pretend to be a tree, you can learn to run really fast, or you can look up.”
“What do you mean?” he asked for he was just a young Giant, and couldn’t follow his mother’s logic so fast.
“We are so large, my son, that we are easily the height of sycamore trees and the width of the centuries-old redwoods. The only thing you need to learn is tree posture. Tree posture is a little wiggly at the top where the thin branches are and strong and sturdy on the bottom, you think you can do that?”
“I can do that Mama.”
“Ok, then the second way to get away from a bad person is to learn to run really fast because each of your steps is twenty times the length of the bad person’s steps… so you can get away fast!”
“Ok, and what else, Mama?” “Well, look up,” and the Giant did. “What do you see?”
“The sky and some branches, and that hill over there.”
“That’s right, little one,” Mama said to the Giant. “That hill is your savior – you can walk to that hill in three steps while it would take regular people sixty steps, and then you can pull yourself up to that ledge in an instant, and roll on that hill and disappear from view!”
“Wow, thank you Mama!” and the Giant hugged his Mama, “I will work on my tree posture, and on running fast, and on lifting myself – yea! I’ll be saved from any bad people!” …and with that he closed his eyes, and took his afternoon quiet-time under the trees.
Hi, today’s post is a few links to research about the brain.
Sharpbrains.com – I’m a big fan of this site, especially the resources section, and within the resources section, scroll down past the “books” section to the “articles,” and click on:
* “Change or Die” – Which of these three is the greatest contributor to health – lifestyle, genetics, or environment? The answer may surprise you.
* “Juggling Juggles the Brain” – The brain can physically change.
Emotion vs. logic in investing. A couple of articles:
* Lizards, rats & the investor’s primitive brain – Some examples of emotions winning out over logic.
* Emotion rules the brain’s decisions – What does the brain reveal about your motivation when you think about investing? As shown through brain imaging.
I was talking to a friend recently, and asking what other questions I should ask on the site, and he said, “Hey, why not ask what questions people want to answer?” I thought, “Hey!” So here we are. :)
Q: What questions would be most fun for Friday questions?! What questions would you have most fun answering?
My answers:
* What’s the coolest experience you’ve ever had?
* What’s the thing you’re most proud of having done in elementary school?
* Describe your best friend from when you were growing up.
* What are some of the most beautiful things or places you’ve ever seen?
* What’s the most unusual feeling you’ve ever had?
Thanks! Really looking forward to reading your thoughts about questions that you want to be asked!
———-
Each Friday, I post a question. I would love it if you feel like answering the question! Thanks. (I’m a big fan of privacy also, so if you don’t want to use your name, just use an initial or just write “anonymous,” and if you don’t want to put your email address for privacy reasons, just put mine – it’s at the link ‘email me’ above.)